gearing up for November on purpose

In trying to do something on purpose every day, I found that I sometimes didn't do anything (on purpose or not). I need to focus better.

I did try a couple of recipes in my crockpot and they have helped me eat better. I'm eating more at home and not out as much, which is much better. I've also started tracking my food so I know how much I'm consuming every day. I wanted to start walking (to build a fitness foundation) but it has been raining for two days. I'm a wimp when it comes to walking in the cold, wet rain. I'll get better at it.

I also started getting up earlier (just one hour) and am getting a ton more done in the day! I swear that one hour actually transforms into four by the end of the day, I'm not sure how, but it does! It is a time management miracle.

So, on to November... and being more purposeful in what I do. I have goals! Specific goals. They are a great mix of fitness, time management, budgeting, spiritual, and work.

I won't share all my goals, but here are a couple. I want to walk at least 30 miles in November. I want to climb the stairs on Old Main Hill at least six times. I want to deep clean and declutter my entire house in November (yeah I'm ambitious). I want to live by my budget and not fudge it once! I want to finish two more scrolls. I want to embroidery a belt pouch. I want to create basket covers for my Needleworkers' Guild ladies. Yeah, I want a lot things.

Especially for November, I want to look for service opportunities every day and making sure every day has a purpose. I can do it!!

going in circles on purpose

Sometimes the only way to get from point A to point B is to go in a circle. At least that is what it felt like. I had meetings in Detroit this week and thought, "hey, I'm only four hours away from Kirtland. Why don't I just go in a day early and head on down?" Didn't make sense NOT to, so I did.

I got into Detroit about 6:30pm on Sunday evening and started the long trek to Garrestville. My GPS said it would be a three-hour drive but a closed exit and several construction zones made it just under four hours. We went, almost, straight to bed.

Getting up early we started our drive that went in circles. I know that we passed the Johnson Home at least four times, although I didn't realize the first pass until much later. I'm not kidding when I say we went around in circles! I wish I could map it out for you but I have no idea where we went and how we got there. I'll just give you the highlights.

Starting at the beautiful Kirtland Temple we got the tour. I dragged them across the street and into the cemetery were we found a monument with Wells on it! More family research to do. :) I knew most of the stories about the temple but it was so nice to finally see it. I had always wondered why that temple is so, so different from every other temple afterwards and finally had that question answered. The Kirtland temple was built so that Jesus Christ could bring the organization of the church back to the earth. He as able to appear after the dedication and do just that. This temple had a completely different purpose than our temples today, and now I know!!

After the temple we went to the Kirtland Visitor's Center, watched the movie, walked through the Whitney store and home, and the other buildings there. What an amazing family the Whitney's were. They gave up so much! The biggest surprise for me here was the size of the room where the School of the Prophets held meetings. Wow! It was so small! I just don't see how you can get 20 people in there comfortably, then add the pipe smoke, and the hosts of angels and that is one claustrophobic place. Section 89 was probably a breath of fresh air (haha!!). As much fun as it was to see the buildings and hear the stories, meeting the other missionaries was my favorite part of this visit. What amazing people they all are. I can see why Mom and Dad love the work and the people so much.

After the visitor's center, we stopped at the Morley Farm. I have to admit that this is one place I would have driven by as unimportant if I would have been on my own. I have to tell you...DON'T DO IT!! Another amazing story of faith and selflessness. The Morley also gave up their entire lives for the church. The property is beautiful. If I worked there, I would walk up to the trees and just sit there for hours. Seriously, isn't this such a serene place?

Next we stopped by Emma's, a small Amish store, to pick up some bread. We, of course, helped ourselves to a fry pie each and I got a rug and Mom got a stable for her nativity set. A couple of the quilts were so breathtaking, I really wanted one. But I was strong!! and settled for my rug. :)

Then it was back to the Johnson Farm. Wow. Mama Johnson had STYLE! I loved the house and the colors and everything about the home. Again, another amazing family that literally gave up everything for their faith. I knew these early saints did it, again and again, but to see what they actually gave up gave me a completely perspective. I thought many times about giving up what I have and doing the same thing. I hope that I could and would. The revelation room is as special as I've been told. You can feel the Spirit when you walk in the doors.

I have such a different perspective on Church history and the Doctrine and Covenants. I am determined to reread it before Thanksgiving. Adding to my living on purpose this month. :)

It was a very special day. I am so glad I was able to take the day and share it with my missionaries! Are they just the best!!

running on purpose

Yup, you read that right, running. If you know me, you know I really don't like running. Like REALLY don't like running. I would rather ride my bike for 100 miles than run for 3. Yeah, I love it that much. So this blog might surprise you a little. It surprises me a lot...and I blame social media. I might have to cancel my facebook account. lol.

I struggle with exercise during the winter. Here in Cache Valley, we get cold. COLD. and I mean COLD. And I hate, HATE the cold. I really need to move south but that just hasn't happened yet. Maybe some day. I'm putting a southern move in my five-year plan. But, in the meantime I live in Cache Valley which has great outside weather for about three months out of the year. So, I struggle with exercising during the winter. But, I want to really hit Spring riding with a good base of fitness. In order to be consistent about exercising, I need something to work toward. Something on the horizon that will kill me if I don't train. But I can't ride my bike during the winter and I don't want to spend a ton of money on a gym and that is my only option for spinning classes so I thought, running, I can run. Well, I can walk/run. And I can do that indoors when the weather is super bad (i.e. Jan/Feb) and outside on nice days the rest of the time.

Earlier this month, I signed up for the Odgen Half Marathon lottery. The minute I clicked submit, I thought "What am I doing? I'm completely insane! Oh well, there is a chance I won't get in." I felt a small piece of relief. AND THEN...I got in!! Ok, several deep breaths later, I decided this is a good thing. This will not be my first half marathon. And I have done this one before so I know the route and what to expect and train for. I now know how to train and have a plan. Since I am woefully out of shape, the next four weeks are going to be walking weeks. I need to build a base of fitness before I start running. In addition, I am going to go back to strength training classes at the Rec Center.

Plan for weeks 1-4: Work up to a 6-mile walk that includes the stairs on Old Main Hill once a week (but climbing them three times on that day) and go to strength training/boot camp classes 2-3 days a week. I have to work up to that much exercise because I would get injured if I did it all in one week. I am starting today with a 2-mile walk at a fast pace to see how my legs and arches keep up. Because I have a ton of meetings and travel scheduled for the next two weeks, I will focus on walking and add the strength training when I get back from Detroit. I also need to start tracking my food so that I am eating well.

No, this is not a plan to lose weight (although that would be a great side benefit). My focus is getting to a fitness level that will get me through a half marathon in about 2.5 hours. My fastest time is 2:47. I want to cut 15 minutes off that, which means much better training than I have done in the past. Here's to running on purpose! Oh, what have I done! :)

  I've started something on purpose!

working on purpose

So, I have a confession to make. For many (many, many, many, MANY) moons now, I have been pretty lazy when it comes to work. Oh sure, I'm still getting a lot of stuff done, and I'm still doing huge projects. But, I'm really not giving it my all...more like 45%. I pretend I'm working. I worry about working. I stress about projects I have to do. I just don't use my time wisely.

Over the last few weeks, I've been working on working. :)

I am a lot more productive when I have a daily to-do list. And, I know what it is I NEED to get done that day and what I WANT to get done and what would be a BONUS if it got done. Some days I work on the bonus items and ignore the needs and the wants. Then, I stress about not getting the needs done when they should have been done. And it ripples through life and causes some problems.

I also work better when I put myself on a schedule and decrease my distractions. I know this about me. I get distracted very easily and since I have NO sense of time, I think I've been distracted for five minutes when really it has been 25. I've missed meetings this way. I get behind. It does not serve me well.

Am I making progress? YES!! I can honestly say I am making progress. Here are the five things that make a difference in my day.

1. Make a list the day before. 

Not only am I making a list but I am prioritizing my list. I know, basic time management. I know! I have just be horrible at it lately. My list is actually a combination of the need/want/bonus items for work, for doterra, and for personal stuff. One of the reasons lists have not been working for me lately is that they center on my job instead of everything in my life that needs to be done that day. This is making a big difference in helping me prioritize my day. 

2. Use a timer.

Doesn't that sound like I'm a two-year old? Remember when I said I get distracted for five minutes only to find out that it has been 25? Well, with a timer, I am quickly put back on track. I am currently using this app on my phone called Pomodoro. When you start the timer (which looks like one of those old-time tomato timers, it is fun), you have 25 minutes on which to focus on a specific -- as in ONE task. When the timer rings, you can take a short 5-minute break. Then you can focus on the same task again for another 25 minutes or switch as needed. What I love about this app is that it breaks my day up into 30 minute segments. I can plan around that! And, my five minutes really are five minutes! 

3. Open a new browser winder (or close the browser altogether)

Sometimes, I'm working on a project that requires access to the internet. When that happens, I found that if I open a new window and make it take up the entire screen, I don't see all those little icons on the other tabs that show me I have new notifications, or pins, or whatever. If I don't see them, I don't want to check them and then I can stay on task. I do still hear the notifications but if I focus, I can tune them out. Social media is really the biggest time sucker I have. I am working to tone it down (on the personal level but up for doterra stuffs) but I can still get easily distracted. 

4. Don't read in the mornings. 

I love to read. I am a veracious reader. My idea of heaven is a library the size of the Empire State Building with nothing but time to read. Sometimes, I wake up before my alarm goes off. Lately, when I find myself in that situation, I start reading. Then the alarm goes off and I'm in the middle of an exciting part and I just turn off the alarm and keep reading. And then it is 1.5 hours later (yup, not lying here) and I'm still reading! UGH...what happened to my day? So, no more reading in the mornings. That is an evening, before I go to bed activity. Not a waste-all-morning activity. 

5. Take my vitamins. 

Have you heard of the doTERRA Lifelong Vitality Pack? No? Well, they are just the most amazing product I have ever taken. I am sleeping better, which means I have more energy, which means I'm not dragging all day, which means I can get more done! In addition, I feel like I have better clarity, my muscles are stronger, and I can do anything! I know, they are just vitamins, right? WRONG!! I seriously thought the same thing, and was hesitant to try them but this formulation is the bomb.com. Nothing in the past 25 years has helped my crazy insomnia as much as this pack. NOTHING. I don't even want to live without them again. So, every day. I need to take my vitamins and have a great day. 

shopping on purpose

I think one of my main concerns about life right now is that I'm not eating very well. What I am eating is highly processed or fast(ish) food of some kind. I NEED to start cooking again but it is such a daunting task to do for just one person. I found this amazing pin on pinterest about slow cooker meals for something like 30 days. This woman prepared 15 meals in a bag. In the morning, she simply pulls something out of the freezer and dumps it in her slow cooker. Because there are just the two of them, they regularly have left overs, thus adding to the number of days the meals last. I'm thinking I could cook three meals a week and live off the left overs for the rest of the week. At that rate, the 15 meals would last 5 weeks, more if I happened to travel during that time (and when have I NOT traveled for five weeks straight).

As part of my challenge to live on purpose. I have picked today as my shopping and prep day. I have my shopping list in hand. I have my recipes all copied. I am ready to do this! I think it will take me the better part of the day. The poster said it took her 3 hours the first time just to make the meals and put them in bags. I am doing all the shopping and everything in one day. Wish me luck!

An update, I decided to try this out on 6 meals and see how it all went. All the ingredients, including meat, cost me about $100. I figure that with me not cooking every day and with leftovers, these six meals will last me about two weeks. Once I've used them all, I'll let you know how accurate my estimate was.

It only took me about one hour to dump the five meals into a bad. On the first one, I put everything in a bowl and mixed it and then made a HUGE mess trying to get it in a bag. Then, I thought "Hey, these are slow cooker meals and I usually just dump everything in the slow cooker so why can't I do the same with the bag?" After that, it went much faster and was much cleaner.I ended up with a bag full of garbage but very limited dishes! Since I use all the same basic stuff to prepare every meal, I will only have to wash this stuff once in the coming weeks instead of several times a week. What an expected and pleasant surprise!! Wanna see what I did?

All six meals prepped and in their freezer bags. It wasn't as hard or time consuming as I thought. I would do some things differently but overall, I think this was a smashing first try.

  

Here is all the garbage. I just kept one of the grocery bags on the counter and threw things away as I needed to. It sure helped with the clean up afterwards! 

And here we have all my cute, little meals and safe and snug in their new freezer home. I can't wait to pull them back out and try them!! I'll give you an update on eating on purpose later when I've actually tried some of these yummy meals. 

 

Oh, wanna know what choices I have? Taco soup, beef stew, beef burritos, chicken broccoli alfredo, Hawaiian chicken, and chicken caccitore. I'll let you know which ones I'll be repeating!! Here's to shopping with a purpose and coming home with nothing but sugary treats and processed foods. 

and then this happens to make my day

When days seem at their darkest, things happen to help you remember that the sun is still shining, you just might not be able to see it right now. I was feeling pretty low yesterday for a lot of reasons I don't really need to go into. But then, my beautiful daughter sent me this message on Facebook after I had gone to bed. This is what I got to wake up to!

I'm so glad I have you as a mom.

How you didn't quite agree with everything I did. But you weren't bluntly against it. How you trusted me to make the right decisions, even if you didn't understand why I wasn't doing what I should...

I'm glad you didn't try to control who I turned out to be and let me become who I was meant to be

I'm grateful that you were always supportive. Even in those moments you probably wished you weren't.

I'm just so happy that you are my mom.

Melts my heart. She may not remember my birthday or Mother's Day but things like this make those days not quite as important. 

 

when living alone...how can you tell?

Elder Holland gave the most amazing talk today on depression. What a beautiful way to talk about such a taboo subject. I lived with a spouse with deep depression for many, many years. His depression eventually led to alcoholism, which added another dimension to every day life. This depression went on for the entire 20 years that I knew him and was part of his life prior to that. He tried medication for about a year and then refused to take it again. He never sought counseling. And, at one point in our marriage, I realized that I was drifting to a pretty deep depression myself. I took some massive steps to pull myself out of it so that I could raise happy, healthy children but it cost me my marriage. I should have sought counseling myself and didn't. I did get help with medication until I knew I was better. But ultimately the choices I made at that point in my life eventually led to a divorce. I am not saying it is all my fault. I'm not saying it is all his fault. There are many instances of bad choices on both sides. 

We have not even been divorced an entire year. Signatures were added in Nov 2012. And since then, I have gone through yet another bout of depression. I've wondered time and time again if there was something I could have/should have done differently. The "should I"'s are endless. And today's talk made me question some of those decisions again. I am not sure I will ever get to the point where I don't feel guilty about some of what happened. I hope so. 

In the past year, I've struggled to get my depression under control naturally. In May, I really felt like I was coming out of it. I felt like the fog had lifted and I was able to participate in life again. And then the last few months happened. I know depression is a cycle and I'm in a trough again. I'm constantly tired. In fact, even when I have had 8 full hours of sleep, people are constantly commenting on how tired I look. I have to push myself through every day to get anything done. Some days are great and I get tons done but most often I just sit around the house and call it good that I ate that day. I loved how Elder Holland said the following: 

So true! However, when do you know that slowing down is really resting, replenishing, and refilling and not just dipping into another depression? I'm finding it especially hard to keep moving now that I am living alone. I don't have someone asking me to go do things with them, asking what there is to eat, asking how I am doing. I couldn't tell you right now if I am depressed or just fatigued. And, that is my profound thought for the day. :) 

This does go back to my October Challenge, to live each day on purpose. If I pick a purpose for that day, I will know I am living and not just surviving. The problem is that right now, every purpose I can think of revolves around getting something done. Maybe one day, my purpose should be to sleep as much as possible. Or, define what replenishes me (hard introspective conversations with self) and set some goals to replenish. Or, just simply enjoy the sunshine while it is here because winter is not far away. 

Replace fatigue with focus. Adding that to my bucket list. 

when support is not

This week I am attending the doTERRA International Convention in Salt Lake. This is my first convention and it has been an interesting experience. But today, I was very angered by comments made by a man sitting behind me. I should have turned around and said something, but I didn't.

In case you don't know, doTERRA is a company that uses essential oils direct and in products to make health/life better. I love these products. I love how I feel when I am using them. I love that I can take these products and not use harmful dyes, chemicals, and other ingredients I can't pronounce. I love that I can stay healthy and that I don't have to depend on medicine (that I again can't pronounce). I love that I feel like I am taking control of my health in ways I had never dreamed possible.

doTERRA is also a network marketing company, which means you sell directly to people you know or people who know people you know. It is not a product that sits on the shelf at a store, it is something you take into homes and educate others on how to take control. Yes, this is multi-level marketing, a bad word in many people's minds. However, it is really the only way to talk about oils. The success stories are tremendous and there is not way to get others to understand what they should do to have their own success without talking to them directly. It is simply the best way.

So, I'm sitting at convention waiting for the first session to start and this man behind me starts talking to the person next to him about his wife. The person sitting next to him is a lady and must by his wife's friend because they do act like they know each other. He goes on to tell this lady that his wife will never be successful at doTERRA. She has "done everything and this is just one more thing." He also admitted that he doesn't believe in the products. Doesn't believe all the claims that people have made about using them. But, hey "She loves it so I am here to support her."

I just wanted to yell..."YOU ARE NOT SUPPORTING HER WITH THAT ATTITUDE!" I wanted to kick him. I am, apparently, a very violent person.

Anyway, if you have a family member that wants to try something a little unorthodox give them your support! Don't tear them down and help them fail. Do what you can to help them succeed! Maybe if this man would actually talk to his colleagues and share the doTERRA message, it would make all the difference in the world in how successful his wife was with the business side of things. But, they will never know what it will take to be successful because his attitude will never let her be. Sad. Just sad.

And in case you want to know more about essential oils, please let me know. They are amazing. Seriously.

i don't believe in coincidences

I seriously don't. I believe things happen for a reason when the timing is right. I had not decided until I was writing my blog this morning exactly what my October challenge would be. I had planned to focus on health only this month and let everything else just kinda of happen but as I was listing the lessons I learned, I realized that focusing on health only was not the best thing for me personally right now. So, the idea of living each day fully, on purpose, deliberately surfaced and I was off.

Not by coincidence, the talk given by L. Whitney Clayton from 2001 General Conference titled "Help Thou Mine Unbelief" popped up on my social media. Not only is it a great talk on truly believing and having your life blessed but it also included the following quotes that struck a cord with me...I know I have chosen the right challenge for me right now. I'm not saying it will be easy. But it will be worth it. And it will be fun.

"Each day we decide what we will do and what we will not do, among myriad alternatives. When we choose to obey the commandments cheerfully as our first priority, neither murmuring about nor measuring the things He commands, we become handmaids of the Lord and fishers of men and cast our nets on the right side of our ships."

"No matter who we are or where we live, there is much about our daily lives that is routine and repetitive. As we go about this dailiness, we must be deliberate about doing the things that matter most. These must-do things include making room first for the minimum daily requirements of faithful behavior: true obedience, humble prayer, serious scripture study, and selfless service to others" (emphasis added).

See why I love this talk? See why I don't believe in coincidences? And seriously, how can you not love this face? :)

things i've learned

I have really enjoyed working on doing good the last 30 days. I learned several things about myself.

I learned that I am not, and am not sure I will ever be, that person who takes brownies to her neighbor just because. I do not walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation, become best friends, and offer to watch her kids while she goes to a doctor's appointment. I AM a person who is intimately connected to the few, very good friends that I have and am always serving them through time, sewing (a lot of sewing), and small things. I do have to remind myself that those stories I hear in Relief Society are great, but that is not how I serve.

I've learned that I have to work HARD to continually serve. Being an introvert, it is easy to stay in my little cocoon and do nothing. It has been a challenge to look outside myself every. single. day. It is easy to do something once in a while but do to something every single day really pushes me. I will readily admit I didn't make it this last month. I didn't do something good for someone else every day. I made it most days but not every day. I need to work harder on that.

I learned that I am surrounded by amazing people. People I know really well and people I am just meeting. In general, the world is not as degenerate as news and other outlets will have you believe. People are good. People are kind. And, with a few exceptions, people love me! :)

I have never been obsessed with possessions. To me life is an experience. I want to experience as much as possible and not be tied down by possessions. A house is somewhere to sleep, the people inside are important. A boat is fun but can only go so far, a plane takes you across the globe. :) This past month reaffirmed that experiences are far more important than things. I've been able to connect with others more fully through service. I want more of that.

I also realized just how much of a procrastinator I really am. I knew I was one, readily admitted it if asked, but this month, trying to find time to do everything I needed and wanted, I realized how much time I really do waste on the unimportant. I did get better -- started using a timer, no joke! -- but I know I have a long way to go.

I learned that my bad days are just an excuse. At one time, especially in the past year, I would have said I had a legitimate reason to have a bad day (or several in a row). But that is just not the case anymore. I only have bad days when I am unmotivated, lazy, or otherwise inclined to do anything except what I should be doing. We all have things we don't want to do. I, instead of just doing them and getting on to something much more pleasant, have a tendency to stew and stew and stew and stew until the stew is mush and not palatable anymore. Then I force myself through whatever task I need to do. What should have taken a couple of hours, turned into days (DAYS) of torture. This is something I need to work on.

I learned that having a challenge to work on and feeling obligated to report on said challenge every day really helped me. So, I want to do it again! What is my challenge for October? Well, I have three of the five do good projects remaining and will focus on them in the next week or so, but I really want to focus on making each day count. Like REALLY count. So, each day will be different. I might force my way through a grueling project, do some good, focus on health, etc. I just don't know. But I will tell you how each day really mattered to me. I will learn to live each day fully.



I have a few goals for this month. I'm not sure how it will all play out but voicing my goals is an important step to achieving them.

1. Finish do good projects.
2. Fully rediscover the Savior's love for me.
3. Make health and exercise a priority.
4. Meet someone new and find a way to regularly connect.
5. Attend Single's Conference and BE FRIENDLY!! (see #4)

And, that's it! Live each day fully with a few concrete goals in mind. That is my challenge for Oct.